Growing Up

Kopper and Mrs. Flaminkoh set themselves a routine which was very relaxing to Kopper. They spent the first half of the morning after a small breakfast on their own pursuits without talking or interacting with the rest of the morning devoted to working on the garden and taking care of the chickens and the goat. They ate their one large meal an hour or two past noon and then finished up any work in the garden or house cleaning. The late afternoon and evening was spent reading and discussing and singing and dancing.

Kopper had missed singing and dancing. They had sung at the convent and though she found some of the songs inspiring she missed some of the songs she had listened to in space. There was something in Kopper that enjoyed both sacred and secular music and Mrs. Flaminkoh encouraged her to explore both musics. At the convent they had never danced and Kopper desperately missed being able to express her joy or sorrow through physical movement. She had learned to speak to God through dancing, even when dancing to secular music, and now she knew that her prayer life had been suffering during her time at the convent. So Mrs. Flaminkoh and Kopper danced in the evenings without worrying what other people thought of them because nobody ventured out to the little cottage.

They were almost self sufficient at the cottage. But Mrs. Flaminkoh did venture to the village a half a days walk away once a month to sell a few items that they sewed and buy a few items that they needed to supplement the garden and the goat. She also went to hear the news. They worried occasionally but fiercely that Kopper might be found out, but Mrs. Flaminkoh never heard anything and nobody questioned the slight increase in supplies that she sold and bought each month. So they became content, but not exactly relaxed.

Each evening they would read and discuss passages from the Bible or sacred writings using Mrs. Flaminkoh’s pad. They could not afford another one and so they made do with just the one. Actually, the discussions consisted more of Kopper argueing with herself and then Mrs. Flaminkoh providing supporting views and attacks on things as there was space for her to do so. She had already formed opinions on several of the things that they were reading, but she allowed Kopper a sounding board to develop her own opinions and thoughts; but she also learned a few things and changed her opinion on some things. She didn’t tell Kopper of the learning and changes but she did support Kopper’s exploration with vigorous comments and praise for actually thinking.

Aspen and Martha managed to visit three months after the poor Sister Mary’s death and reported that there were no problems. They also brought a few supplies though they were meager. The evening discussion was wonderful and lively; everyone threw out opinions and thoughts without concern for being mocked or labeled as evil. The discussion didn’t wane, but Kopper wanted to sing and dance so they did. It was late at night when they went to bed.

In the morning Martha and Aspen had to continue their official journey, which was a pilgrimage. Everyone had so thoroughly enjoyed the previous afternoon and evening that saying goodbye was a mess. Everyone avoided looking at anything but the ground for several minutes and then Kopper looked up at Martha who also glanced up for a moment. The eye contact was long enough that they both started chewing on their lips, gulping air, and dabbing their eyes with the backs of their hands. Eventually they all broke down into full blown sobs. But it was brief since they all knew that they needed to part. They didn’t want to attract any attention and the people in the village knew that Mrs. Flaminkoh was hosting the nuns for the night and were expecting to see them pass through the village. A long delay would be noticed and so they briskly walked down the track without saying a full goodbye. They did say they would try to be back in about six months time.

Kopper and Mrs. Flaminkoh continued with their schedule after the two sisters left, but they were sad for the next two days. But the summer and the harvest consumed their days and the time flew by before the Christmas season came around and they looked for the return of Martha and Aspen. Mrs. Flaminkoh had finally introduced Kopper, using her middle name Light, to the village and said she was a distant cousin that had lost her family to the plague and had spent all her money on trying to save them. The village accepted her without much thought and so both of the women went to the village together and occasionally stayed the night at the inn to join in a celebration or do more business.

It was toward Christmas that the village received word that the Pope was planning a celebration in the spring in honor of Christ, ostensibly, but really everyone knew that it was to celebrate the Pope. This year he wanted to have a lawn. A lawn at Easter time and he lived in a region that wouldn’t have green lawn for two months after the celebration. So in order to have the green lawn that he desired there was a call out to the farming villages to grow lawn in greenhouses and they would be paid handsomely for the lawns they delivered. It didn’t seem to occur to the Pope that the farmers didn’t have greenhouses in the area and outside was just as cold here, but it was to this region that he had delivered his invitation to grow him a lawn. Everyone at the town tavern was a buzz with news of both the potential to make money and the stupidity of the Pope not to out source the lawn to someplace warm.

Mrs. Flaminkoh and Kopper were delighted to learn of the possibility to earn additional money, even if it required a little investment in building a greenhouse, they could use the greenhouse in later winters. So they took some of the plugs of grass that the Pope had sent along to the town, so that all the grass was the same variety and looked the same color, or at least close to the same color when it arrived in the spring. The town had a traveling salesman that came through not long after and he sold everyone some plastic and glass for greenhouses. Kopper and Mrs. Flaminkoh scrapped to afford some of the glass and managed to fall a few trees for some lumber to make their greenhouse. They were so busy tending to the grass plugs and the green house that they didn’t notice that Aspen and Martha were becoming overdue for their visit.

When they arrived they brought news about the celebration. Again they were officially on a pilgrimage so they could only spend a night at the cottage, but they made sure to spend the time wisely. They were delighted with the green house and how good their grass was growing. Kopper had devised a system to generate light using low power and a way to rotate several tiers of lawn to make full use of the space they were able to enclose with the their glass. In the evening they shared the news that they knew. Martha said that the real celebration at the Easter festival was going to be an announcement that using birth control was a sin. Martha speculated that the real reason behind outlawing birth control was because the lower class was decreasing in population due to the living conditions. Disease was rampant since the health care for the lower classes was essentially non-existent and the general diet was not of the highest quality. People also didn’t want to have children because they couldn’t afford to have them. The upper classes of the government depended on the lower classes for multiple things, growing their food, serving them, providing masses that looked like support... etc. So Martha guessed that the higher ups got together and found out that in the distant past the church had mandated birth control as being illegal and so the solution was born.

They discussed long into the night how the church felt justified in mandating women’s rights and what in the Bible backed their position. Finally, they realized it was exceptionally late and the two sisters still had to make the journey out in the morning. So they went to bed. But Kopper stayed up. She laid in the bed that she and Mrs. Flaminkoh shared and stared at the dark which was broken only by a small spider that was crawling across the ceiling.

She couldn’t decide what to do. Something about this celebration told her that there was something important she had to do. She prayed desperately for more information on what she was supposed to do. For several moments she wondered if the thing she was supposed to do was merely to grow grass and deliver it. It was a noble endeavor to make things beautiful even if the people in charge weren’t the most noble people surely among those who came to the celebration there was somebody worthy of the beauty that would be present. She remembered how much she missed color while in space and thanked God for the abundant beauty of the colors on earth and for the changing seasons, even if it was cold now. The idea seemed to grow in her head that perhaps the greatest contribution to the earth that she could make was beauty, beauty in grass and beauty in dance. She might get in trouble for dancing at the Easter celebration but maybe she was supposed to do that. Her mind formed the picture of her and Mrs. Flaminkoh being the ones in charge of delivering the grass that their area had grown. They each drove a wagon to the festival and helped install the grass. After this they decided that the best use of the grass would be to use it to dance to God. She then envisioned them leading the masses, the poor, onto the lawn which had been reserved for the dignitaries and dancing up a storm for God.

The spider let down a silk and started to swing as if saying no. Eventually it made a long enough swing to get to the head of the bed and crawl to the small window above her head. No, dancing would not be a real protest of things and beauty is not sufficient encouragement to people. There was so much that Kopper saw in the church that was a huge step into the past in a very bad way. Medieval times were horrible then and were horrible in the weird duplication that seemed to be going on in this twisted theocracy. Dancing wasn’t going to show that any of the things that were happening was truly bad and needed to be fixed, people would merely be distracted for a while and then they would be severely punished because they had dared to tread on sacred ground that they were barely worthy to observe let alone step on. It didn’t matter that these people may very well be the people that grew the grass and cut it and then laid it on the ground, suddenly they would be forbidden to walk on it.

Merely looking at the beautiful items provided no hope for the masses either. They were constantly reminded that they were not as good as the people parading in front of them and if they dared to question their position in life they were told that their soul was in danger of hell fire. More than likely, the people that grew the grass would get only half of the promised payments since it was invariably true that something was found wanting with the supplies that were provided to the government so they paid less. Of course everyone knew this when they grew the grass, but even so the payment would be reasonable enough that it would be slightly profitable to those who were growing and there was always the “bonus” that the government would look on you slightly more favorably in the future.

People were wronged. People were unhappy. People were being misrepresented. The poor deserved more. Those in high positions deserved less. Everyone deserved to know that God was gracious. So what was Kopper going to do about it?

By morning she had formulated a plan that she did not discuss with anyone. In this act she was sure that God wanted her to do it, but not sure that God wanted her to risk her friends. In fact she was particularly certain she was to benefit people, not hurt them and she knew that her friends had already done all they could do for her by getting her to Mrs. Flaminkoh’s cottage.

leaving things behind

Martha and Aspen spent the winter planning what to do with Kopper. They knew that they needed to give her an opportunity to rest from the relentless pressure that she was experiencing; for some reason they felt deeply that Kopper had a larger purpose than they currently understood. Neither was familiar with direct commands from God, but if you had asked them if this was one they would have paused and then said that it was. Hints and circumstances allowed them to feel this conviction but they didn’t voice it due their inability to pinpoint anything that would convince anyone else of the commission.

It took the whole winter to plan the escape of Kopper. The first several plans were discarded It wasn’t as if the nuns were guarded. In fact there was only one priest at the compound and he was not trained as a guard, or perhaps had been but had rapidly forgotten it and he was a well meaning man. However, the difficulty was that Kopper’s presence wasn’t entirely unknown here. There was the Bishop Matthew Steadfast to deal with and a few people in the town nearby that would know Kopper wasn’t at the convent anymore and would wonder what happened to her. She couldn’t simply just walk away from the compound and leave Martha to take the responsibility. Kopper had been ordered to live out the remainder of her life at the convent so Martha would be punished if Kopper left and they would eventually track her down to impose a harsher sentence on her. No, Kopper had to disappear in a way that would raise no questions.

The first possibility was to have Kopper transferred to another community. Martha thought she might be able to arrange for some fake transfer orders to come through and then have some other orders made up to make it clear that Kopper was to sever all connections with her previous life. She spent some time drawing up a list of other convents that might be willing to participate in this deception, but the list was very short. Aspen didn’t like this plan. She thought it involved too many people and Aspen was a bit mistrustful of people in high positions and they would definitely need to involve one person of high position to get the orders faked properly.

Aspen then thought that they could just cloister Kopper off at this convent in some manner. She wandered about the compound looking at places where Kopper could be isolated and thought of reasons why this would be done. She found an old shed that might be suitable for summer weather seclusion, but it would need work for the winter months. Martha didn’t like this plan. She thought it very likely that the sisters would not abide by the isolation and would sneak to Kopper and besides that wouldn’t stop Bishop Steadfast’s letters and the now yearly visit.

It was midway through winter when Aspen realized where they could hide Kopper and it took the rest of the winter for Martha to work out a way to plausibly get Kopper off the premises without the use of authority or other people.

It was a wet winter, which was fortunate in many ways. The women were all eager to spend time outdoors after being cramped indoors with meager fires to warm their hands as they sewed or wrote. The fields were planted with plenty of labor and Martha let a few cloak orders fall a bit behind schedule to allow her charges a little break and a little joy. Everyone was grateful to Sister Martha and did their best to make up for the time outdoors by doing their indoor work with greater speed and skill than had been seen all winter.

One morning Aspen and Kopper were given orders or rather permission to go to the river on the other side of town to catch fish. The convent regularly caught fish from the river and thus supplemented their diet with a bit of fatty acids and flavor. During the winter, the fishing was suspended, but now everyone wanted the chance to go out to fish in the beautiful spring weather. So each Monday and Thursday Martha sent out two women to fish in the morning. Aspen and Martha had discussed the plan extensively, everything was in place or else Martha would not have sent Aspen out with just Kopper. Kopper was completely unaware of the plan or of even the idea that she was to be secreted away.

Kopper and Aspen strolled along the road to the river carrying two baskets a piece and two poles. They were responsible for not only bringing in fish for current meals, but since the fishing was good this year and it was a good time to fish they were to bring back fish to dry. Kopper started to hum a bit of a song that she had particularly liked while she was in space, though she didn’t realized that is where she remembered the tune from. Aspen was concentrating on other things or else she would have reminded Kopper to sing only hymns, especially in town because the there was known to be a couple of government informants in the town.

They made it safely to the river without seeing anyone but the friendly baker who waved from his shop doorway. Each person from the village had an area they preferred to fish and the convent had chosen an area fairly far upstream from the villagers places to avoid conflict. The spring turf was soggy so they stepped as lightly as possible on their way to their hole. Kopper had learned fishing last year and deftly baited her two hooks and tossed them into the stream. Aspen looked around carefully and absent mindedly managed to get her hooks baited. However, when she went to toss them in the stream she managed to get one hung up on a bush. Kopper had settled into a relaxed lounge against her favorite rock and closed her eyes. Aspen was not usually one to use any words of anger so when Kopper heard her say, “Socks and turtles be hung!” Kopper sat up quickly and her head snapped around to look at Aspen. The bush was not large, but it was tall enough to present problems to those who were silly enough to get a line caught in it. Aspen was trying to use some of the thicker branches to reach her line which was snagged near the top of the bush but she was having little success. Laughter reached Aspens ears and she turned swiftly to be angry with Kopper. How could she be so light at such a time as thing. Just as she was to open her mouth she remembered that Kopper had not even an inkling that anything more important than a little fishing was going on today. Her anger melted and realized how silly she looked trying to get her hook out of the bush and laughed with Kopper.

An hour half hour later, Aspen was in a much better mood and they had managed to catch a few fish between getting the hook untangled from the bush and Aspen. They then relaxed along the bank and Aspen asked Kopper how she was doing, how she was really doing.

“Oh well I can’t complain. There are some very good friends as the convent and both you and Martha are the best friends I could ask for. Living isn’t exactly comfortable, sometimes I am cold at night and my belly isn’t exactly full. But the food is better than the nasty stuff I was eating in space. I don’t wish to complain of anything per say, but I have this feeling that something isn’t quite right. Thoughts rattle around and lurk in the dusty corners of my brain and I can’t say what they are or even what they are about. I just know that they are important thoughts somehow and I for some reason they are unable to be really thought about the way I am living now.”

There was a pleasant lull where they enjoyed the warm sunshine and caught a few more fish, two of which they threw back because they were too small to bother with.

“Aspen, what is in the knapsack? I thought we had to be back to the convent in time for the noon office so that can’t be lunch,” Kopper looked straight ahead at her lines while asking this question as if looking at the knapsack would somehow make Aspen deny its existence. This was backward to how it should be, but Kopper knew that Aspen wasn’t one for direct questions and if she had to suffer through being asked a direct question, the question had better be good and asked without direct eye contact or such things as that. It was probably only three minutes before Aspen’s answer but it was long enough for Kopper to start thinking about other things so that the answer was even more surprising than it would have been with a quicker answer.”

“There is a journal of real paper, a small embroidered sun on a black cloth, a small folding knife and a very docile cat. You may look if you wish.”

“But... those were.... where did you find?” Kopper started several times and finally went over to the knapsack and opened it. Grayvee popped her head out the top of the bag and nudged Kopper’s hand into petting. She scooped the cat out of the bag into her lap and inspected the rest of the contents. Inside she found her journal and the brilliant sun she had embroidered, both of which she thought she had hidden carefully in her cell at the convent. The knife was familiar because she kept it in her room for miscellaneous tasks and occasionally carried with her; although she knew they were forbidden from having personal items she had somehow contrived to keep the knife as her own in a sort of semi-public defiance of the rule. Kopper left the items in the sack and carried Grayvee back to sit beside Aspen.

While watching Grayvee dismember a small fish that Aspen had just caught, Kopper contemplated what the objects meant for her. It could mean she was in trouble. Just one of those items was enough to require a confession and penance for her. Grayvee was one of the many stray cats of the area, but Kopper had adopted her as a kitty Kopper’s first winter. She snuck the cat into her room and taught her to hide in the bed covers and look like an innocent lump in a poorly made bed. Since then Grayvee had been a quiet companion in her room and outside when Kopper thought that the other sisters wouldn’t notice that she was supporting “the vermin” as many of the other sisters referred to the rodent controlling cats. They didn’t hate or love the cats, they were just part of the ecosystem they were now living in where there was prey and hunters. Grayvee knew how much she had to be thankful for in terms of being fed scraps and having a warm place to sleep, so she learned to be the immobile hump that Kopper requested of her when she was transported out of the room. The cat had become a silent listener to Kopper’s questions that were still ill formed but what was bothering her about her current life.

Kopper decided that the indirect route would yield the most information from Aspen, “Thank you for keeping my treasures safe. I didn’t realize how much you knew about my secrets.”

Aspen was much quicker to respond to the unasked questions that were behind Kopper’s statements.

“Martha and I have been worried for you and we have plotted to get you some space that we think you need, even though we don’t know exactly why we know you need space. Martha and I are good friends as you have said, and because of that we know more about you than you may think is possible based on your limited experience with living with other people. Martha has long known about Grayvee and I suspected your warming muff wasn’t dead. I watched you make the sun and tuck it into your pocket whenever people noticed you were doing embroidery with colors and not seemingly related to the cloaks. Don’t worry, I don’t think any of the other sisters noticed or if they did they didn’t think that it was anything beyond a special project that would be sent out; not something that would be kept by you. Really, the other sisters view you as the most giving, unselfish woman around so they wouldn’t consider suspecting you of keeping anything for yourself. The knife was an impulse. Originally I had thought to take your reading pad, but people would notice that was missing and wonder why it was missing. The rest of the objects will not be missed. I knew you were stealing a few bits of paper here and there, but the purpose I did not guess at until I found your journal. I did not read it, you knew that though.

“As for the why that lingers behind your gratitude. Well you see, like I said Martha and I have been worried for you and thus have been working on a plan to get you some time to do something... maybe think, maybe we don’t know what. But both of us agree there is something great left for you to do. So this winter we figured out a way to snatch you off to a place where you can reflect on things and maybe that will help you do whatever it is that you need to do, or that God feels you need to do.

“Do you remember Mrs. Flaminkoh? Good, the spark of remembering is in your eye. I remembered her fondly and this winter it came to me that she lives not seven days hard journey from here. It is just far enough away that you will not be recognized there and it is close enough that Martha and I may see you once or twice a year. So the plan was hatched and today is its execution, so I brought your things that you might take them with you through this next transition in your life. Goodness knows that you haven’t been able to take anything with you on your other two transitions so I thought it might be comforting to have some continuity this time.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” Kopper wept into Aspen’s shoulder which she had rested her head on after hearing that she was in for another transition. “You don’t know what it means to me to take these things. But even if I walk from here, I have no supplies but the fish we caught and I cannot travel on fish alone. Further more, won’t people wonder what happened to me? How will you and Martha deal with Bishop Steadfast? I don’t want you two to get in trouble? Does the Bishop know about this plan? No, I suppose he doesn’t, this all tells me in small whispers that he is part of my problems.”

“My dear Kopper, how I will miss you. No people won’t miss you if we do this right and Mrs. Flaminkoh will show up presently to help you travel to her place. It will be an indirect route that will take two weeks so that you may avoid the well traveled routes around here which may end up with you being recognized. She is not rich, but has managed to procure a donkey for the journey and so it will carry your supplies. You will have to camp to avoid people, but Mrs. Flaminkoh knows what she is doing. As for avoiding having people miss you we simply have to make it look like you died. Oh don’t look so worried. It is quite simple really. We’re just going to fake your drowning without you ever getting wet. Last time the weather was this wet a couple of people drowned in the spring and so it isn’t completely implausible. We are just hoping nobody questions the fact that we won’t find your body. It won’t be too bad. I think we can get away with you just losing your cloak and maybe a sandal in the water and hopefully we’ll find them downstream as evidence of your drowning. We have to wait for Mrs. Flaminkoh to show up though so you can disappear and then I’ll run to town for ‘help’ for the drowning you. She’ll bring you another cloak and some sturdy boots for traveling. She sent word from the village last night that she was in town and prepared today.”

Kopper snuffled back a sob and leaned toward Aspen, “But how can I say goodbye to you and I don’t even get to say goodbye to Martha. The convent is all I know in this world and how will I manage without you.” She ended with a gentle sob and a steady stream of tears. Aspen brushed back Kopper’s hair and took out her handkerchief to wipe the tears. She knew that words would to nothing to sooth Kopper so she let her weep in her shoulder until Mrs. Flaminkoh arrived. One pole fell into the river right as she arrived and Aspen figured it would just add the plausibility of Kopper’s drowning, but it was getting late in the morning and Kopper needed to make her escape.

Mrs. Flaminkoh knelt by the two and gently whispered, “My dear Kopper, I hope you remember the fun times we had in choir. Think of such things right now and we will bear out the pain later. However the timing is such that we need to get moving. Collect your cat and your pack, I’ll supply some boots and a new cloak for you, then we’ll be off. Lovely Aspen, give us five minutes to start our get away before you run into town for the ‘help’ and we should be well disappeared into the woods by then. Don’t worry, my dear late husband taught me how to cover my tracks, but no time to converse; we must move on.”

Together, Aspen and Mrs. Flaminkoh got Kopper ready for the journey they set off with Kopper and the donkey preceding Mrs. Flaminkoh, who was giving directions and also doing some scuffing and hiding of their track with a large, fluffy branch and a sack of dirt and other mixed items from the forest. Aspen tore herself away from watching them disappear into the forest so that she might not even accidently tell which direction they went. After about five minutes she threw Kopper’s cloak and sandal into the river, then screamed, just in case someone was close enough to hear and find the drowning story unbelievable if there was no screams and shouts. Then she ran to the village to tell people she needed to look for her sister that fell in the river.

The plan was fairly successful, the two informants questioned the story briefly, but since the river was high and the cloak, sandal, and fishing pole were recovered they ceased their questioning without any pressure. Aspen and Martha wept genuinely for though they knew Kopper to be safe they also knew that their friend was no longer with them and they worried for her. The other sisters wept genuinely because they loved Kopper and thought her to be dead.

Meanwhile Kopper and Mrs. Flaminkoh dodged their way through the forest, avoiding villages, and stopping only at places they knew to be safe. By the time they made it to Mrs. Flaminkoh’s place both of them were quite soggy and had a bit of a cold from sleeping on the damp ground and being rained on several days. The cottage was small but cosy and warm, so they warmed up and recovered from their colds via warming soups and some precious oranges.